Just What I Was Thinking

I was wondering what to blog about this week. My husband just sent me this video of John Cleese, so now I don't have to write anything. I've always been impressed by Cleese, but now I have even more reasons to give him praise. This is deep, real deep in a Buddhist kind of way. Ok, no more writing! I must get back to preparations and meditations for my first keynote talk ever! More to come soon.

Cambodian Women Organize To Protect Ancestral Rainforest

This is one from the vault. It's about an experience that I had in Cambodia, back in 2006. Enjoy.

During my two-hour motorbike trip to Blor Borcam of Cambodia's Rattanakiri province, I saw rolling lush rain forest, farmers planting rice, and stilted grass hut villages scattered about. The beauty was striking, but the forest was broken up like green islands, surrounded by an ocean of hacked and naked landscape. It was the most extreme deforestation that I have ever seen. How could this happen?

My long and bumpy journey ended, and my first inclination was to wipe the caked red dirt from my face so the real color of my skin could be seen. After washing in a stream, I was greeted by a trainer named Kol Propey who guided me to a group of indigenous village women who were in the midst of a community meeting. They were organizing themselves to stand up to greedy savages who have been illegally harvesting their forests all in the name of quick profit. We exchanged greetings, and the women began to share their stories.

Podcast Update: Don't Get Your Teeth Pulled in Kabul, Whatever You Do!

What is just as frightening as encounters with the Taliban? For me, it was getting my wisdom teeth pulled with a donkey staring me down from the door to the dentist's office in Kabul, Afghanistan. Listen if you dare. In honor of Obama's healthcare bill that passed in Congress yesterday, I use this episode to share my harrowing dental tale. Listen to my encounter at my Galactic Stillness podcast.

Book Review: In The Belly Of The Fail Whale

Pictured Left: Author, Composer & Twitter Citizen
Rob Gokee

High speed boat chases. Explosions. Espionage. New and exotic women every night. Clowns... This is a window into the intriguing life of Rob Gokee, international man of mystery and professional spy as portrayed in his book In The Belly Of The Fail Whale. The question that left me hanging by a string throughout this breathtaking, high pulse autobiography was "who is he a spy for? Is it Russia, USA, or the 62 square mile principality of Liechtenstein?" You just might find out. I can't share all of his secrets, so you will have to read this book... Oh, wait. This is the wrong story. Rob didn't want me to share this. It's not what he wrote about. (Rob, will you have to kill me now? Have I said too much?)

What Rob Gokee (known as @robgokeemusic on Twitter) did write about is how Twitter changed his life over the course of a year. This is a fantastic read if you want to understand how to use Twitter in a communal and life changing kind of way. Rob gets it with Twitter, and if you read this, you will get it too.

If you already understand how to make Twitter work for you and why it's different from other social networks like Facebook or My Space, that's OK. You'll love his book for the reasons I did:

1. Rob is damn funny. Hands down. His biting sarcasm and off the wall humor makes it worth the ride.

2. Rob shares in detail how Twitter helped his personal life and his business.

3. This absolutely speaks to my generation of Twitter punks and enthusiasts. We're an odd bunch, and it's awesome to see that he has captured what it's like to be a part of this global cyber community.

4. This is not just a how-to book, it's a very personal and raw spilling of guts and emotion. I applaud Rob for being so personal. Not everyone can share their private life--the ups and downs--in a book or on Twitter like he has. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll probably want to give Rob a hug for what he went through (and buy him some pants) if you ever meet him in person.

The most touching part for me was his interaction with @alliecine. I can't say more because I don't want to ruin it. You'll just have to buy the book if you want to know why I found it to be so heartwarming.

Final thoughts...

Buy In The Belly Of The Fail Whale, read it and tweet it to spread the word! I'm excited to find out what Rob does next with this book and beyond. If you want to know, follow him on Twitter at @robgokeemusic or follow his book updates on Twitter at @failwhalebook

Butterfly On The Road-The Trailer

Please watch the video below if you want to know about my upcoming book Butterfly On The Road. If you want to read it, please sign up here to receive an email notification to know when it's released.

Butterfly Love,
Erin Grover

My infinite thanks goes out to Elizabeth Weissenborn of Deinos Productions for making this video happen.


Butterfly on the road from Elizabeth Weissenborn on Vimeo.

If you would like to know more about how I got to Afghanistan with only $100 in my pocket, you can watch this:

LA LA LA

I'm in LA. I don't have much time to chat right now, but I will say that I miss my bed. I miss staying in one bed for more than one week. Actually, I miss any bed for that matter. Lots of floors and couches. Ugh. It's ok. I can manage. The overall picture of my life is quite beautiful and sprinkled with perfected chaos. Love it. I'm meeting many divine characters on this journey and every turn is full of miracles and joy. This is why I travel. This is why couch surfing is digestible. That's all for now. Over and out.

My Interview ON KPFK, February 1st With Eisha Mason

Mystic Donut

This is another one of my late night inspirational writing sprees, the kind that doesn't let me sleep until I've typed it out. I don't have much to say, but I have to share the story of my manifested donut.

Two nights ago I was watching the Simpsons, which, by the way is now 20 years old! And I've been watching it ever since it came on air! Anyway, I saw a donut on this particular episode and, even though it was just a cartoon donut, I really, really wanted it. I admit I even drooled, and my heart began to pine for a bavarian cream-filled donut with a sweet melty chocolate glaze.

That was it. I finished watching the episode without pondering more on my donut passion and then I went to sleep.

The next morning I embarked on my journey to find a coffee. After I purchased the only substance that I'm really addicted to, I went back to my car. I was just about to shut the door and I heard, "You, hey you! You heard me..." I peeked my head out the door, and low and behold, a man was standing there with a large bucket FULL OF DONUTS!!! He said, "Would you like some donuts to help you enjoy your ride?" I almost heard the angelic choirs sing, but then my logical mind--the one that didn't manifest the donut--came in and said, "You can not eat that donut! It has too many calories!" And that was it. I gave into my mind. I passed on the donut, but it was so cool that the universe brought me to a bucket of donuts the morning after craving just one!

It's fabulous. I wanted a donut with all my heart, and I wasn't even consciously manifesting it. It's almost scary how easy it was. It was one of those, "be careful what you wish for" kind of moments. It's a great reminder for us all. You want it? You can have it, especially when the passion and emotion is there. It can be a donut, a puppy, a career change or peace. You just have to put the love into it. On the flip-side, if I vehemently said, "I hate donuts. I hate 'em! I hate 'em", I could have just as easily manifested that bucket. It's all how you want to play the game. The emotion will attract the details of your life either way.

My Interview On Radio Station WERU of Bluehill, Maine 1/12/10

Here's another radio interview where I share more experiences from my time in Afghanistan. This is my first east coast interview and I feel so incredibly blessed that I keep getting more and more media. It's amazing to have the chance to be heard, especially with a story that is not necessarily mainstream. My next known radio interview is on KPFK on February 1st. Of course, I'll post it here. Listen to the full interview here.

Welcome To My Podcast

Left: I have already listed my podcast on iTunes with this logo.

I think this is almost overdue, but I've done it. I started a podcast with the same name of Galactic Stillness. It's an extension of my blog. It will include stories of world travel and synchronicity. I want to keep my entries short, unless they're interviews with fascinating people who deserve more than five minutes. I'm not sure what I'm doing, but I'm just excited that I have a new creative outlet to play around with. Listen to my first podcast episode called "Little Buddha Packing Heat".

Year Of The Roar! Here I Go!

Yes, the year of the tiger is coming soon, but I feel like it has already started. It's a time to be bold and to step into our power with bravery and grounded footsteps. For the more playful of minds, it's time to bounce, pounce and seize the day! I believe it's time for all of us to shine with what we do best. Everyone I talk to seems to feel the same. There's collective excitement in the air, and I can barely contain myself. Why do you think I'm writing this blog entry at midnight :-)

I have an amazing astrological chart for this year, but I don't need the planets to tell me that things are already off to a spectacular start. So much happened last week. So much has happened today and it's only Monday. Out of respect for others involved, I can't publicly share everything that I'm cooking up right now. Just trust that I'm working on amazing creative projects and I will be able to reveal more as the year goes on. Most of them are film related. I will throw you one bone; I'm currently working on a documentary short for the fine folks at 30 Hour Day who produced the first-ever live streamed telethon for the inter-tubes back in December. They raised about $7,000 for charity, and I'm so proud of their amazing contribution to the world. Learn more about it here and be on the lookout for the next 30 Hour Day in July.

I can say that I'm going to new levels with sharing my positive experiences of the Afghan people, from when I lived there back in 2004 and 2005. Last Saturday was my first east coast interview (on WERU in Maine) and it was my first step towards going bicoastal with my story. It will air on Tuesday and I'll post it here when I get a link. My parents said that they will blast it out their car windows when it airs. :-) I love them and appreciate their enthusiasm and support so much.

My book Butterfly On The Road is manifesting, slowly but surely. I really believed that it would be out by now. What can I say? I could get upset, but I won't because I believe in divine timing. I trust that everything in my life unfolds beautifully, even if I can't see the big picture.

In February, I will take a magical mystery tour down the west coast, from Portland to LA with synchronistic stops along the way. I know I'll stop in San Francisco, and I'm open to other stops if the universe happens to pull me in an obvious direction. As with all my travels, I'm going for some known reasons. For one, I will be making different stops to speak about Afghanistan. If you want me to speak at your school, organization, company or radio station etc., please let me know. I'm also going for reasons unknown, so stay tuned to see how it magically unfolds.

Other than that, I'm starting a podcast soon. It would have been live by now, but my scratchy throat has forced me to wait. I'm doing it because I want to share my stories of spirit and adventure in another format. I'll share my own stories and interview other galactic travelers too. That's all. I just like to be creative in as many ways as possible.

So, my cat Yoshi is pawing at me. He knows it's past my bedtime and he is persistently giving me all the signs that it's time to sleep. Thanks for reading. I wish you the best this year. And away we go!

Big Love,
Liz

Building Sustainability

This is the first documentary that I made with a group. It was produced with students from Portland Community Media and it's about the rebuilding movement here in Portland, Oregon. I find this subject to be very inspiring.

Building Sustainability from Liz Grover on Vimeo.

Ignite Portland, A Documentary Short by Yours Truly

Ignite Portland, A Documentary Short from Liz Grover on Vimeo.

Before You Call Me Crazy...

More and more, I'm sharing my story of how I got to Afghanistan with the world. I've been waiting for this for years. See, I originally went to Afghanistan for many reasons, but one of them was to share my experience of Muslim culture when I returned home to the states. It was my intention because I was sooooo tired of Americans--the ones who had never been to Afghanistan--telling me what Afghans and Muslims were like. In February I will go on my first speaking tour ever, and it's so incredibly exciting. My dream is becoming a reality.

Last week I did a talk at a small intellectual meet-up in Portland, Oregon. I did the usual. I spoke, I connected, and I made new friends. One acquaintance said to me, "Liz, I tell a lot of people about how you got to Afghanistan with only $100 and no job. People first say, 'Wow! She's crazy' but then they see it in a different way when I tell them why you did it".

This was an interesting statement. It's not a surprise that people instantly say that I'm crazy, but I want everyone to stop and think about what crazy really is. I'm crazy. There's no doubt about it. I can function as a typical human in western society, hold an amazing career and do things that most people do, but I know that I look at life and the world in a much different way.

Before you call me crazy, think about what it is. It's crazy for me to go to Afghanistan with nothing but $100, but westerners aren't crazy for working 70+hours a week to pay for luxury cars and palatial suburban homes where it's hard for the average three to four family members to occupy all the rooms? And what about our American obsession with weight? Are you telling me that I'm crazier for following my heart to Afghanistan than western women who strive to look like photoshopped emaciated models in Vogue Magazine? Am I crazier than the Americans who are addicted to movie and reality TV star gossip, and don't understand that innocent people die everyday in other countries because of our country's nastier habits of war mongering and oil consumption (to name a few)?

Think about it. I've got a good kind of crazy going on. I followed my heart and free spirit to places that most will never see. I have a global family, a world wide web of human connections so extensive that I always see someone I know no matter where I travel. If you still want to call me crazy compared to those who I just mentioned, I'm happy to keep my title.

Dream Life

My relationship to dreams is an evolving story. Like everyone, I've been dreaming all my life, but the value I place on it has changed. I definitely had my dreams as a child. I chose only a few because I didn't want to bite off more than I could chew. I wanted to travel the world before getting married, I wanted the world's biggest music collection, and I wanted to adopt if I ever had a child because I thought there were already too many living children who needed love. This is what I thought about when I was seven.

As I grew into my 20s, the mp3 was invented, so that took care of my music dream. I now have about 100 gigabytes of music, and I have to say that I don't feel the need to acquire much more. It's not the world's biggest music collection, but that part of my ego doesn't need to prove itself anymore.

I traveled the world--15 countries to be exact. I'm married now, but the part I didn't include in my childhood dream is that marriage isn't an end. I continue to travel with and without my husband. Our idea of marriage is an ever changing unique design that doesn't adhere to what my society unsuccesfully tried to force on me.

As far as kids are concerned, no, I don't have any. Actually, I want to say this dream changed, but it didn't because I always left it open-ended. As a child, I always made sure to install the big "If I have kids" when I put any energy into this dream. I'm still a child. I have friends who are kids, but no, I don't think I'm the one to have them.

Looking back, I can say most of my major childhood dreams did come true. There may have been small parts that didn't pan out, but I know that's because I modified the dream, like with the "biggest music collection in the world" bit. I realized that wasn't what I really wanted and 100 gigs was enough.

About the only remaining childhood dream is that I would like to have a coffee with any of the remaining members of Monty Python. I'm still alive, and so are they (minus one-Graham Chapman rest in peace). There's still time, and I'll update this entry when it happens.

What is so different about dreaming as a child and dreaming now? As a child, I didn't realize that I could make all my dreams come true. Now that I'm an adult, I made most of my dreams come true. For the past couple of years, I've been focusing on what to dream next. Yeah, I have new ones. They're personal, but they don't seem to matter as much anymore. Dreaming for myself is fine and necessary to some extent, but what I do now is dream for the world. I dream of peace. This is my number one dream now and I believe it can happen, because I have no other choice but to believe it.

My Trip To The Taj Mahal

It was almost a year ago when I went to the Taj Mahal. The one-day trip went beyond all expectations, and it was one of the most intense days of my life.

It began in Delhi early in the morning. I just had my big fat Indian wedding. I’m American, but my husband was born and raised there in a Punjabi family. The morning was cold and smoggy. My friends from the USA, Europe and Australia were there for the ride. They came to my wedding and we thought the Taj Mahal would be the perfect way to bring all the celebrations to a close.

Since the Taj Mahal was about five hours away, I assumed that the smog would eventually thin out, but it didn’t. It actually grew worse as we drove on. There was a burning chemical smell in the air that closed car windows couldn’t deter. My lungs felt like they were on fire with every inhalation. The fumes made me feel like my head was trapped inside a diesel barrel. Until that day, I never knew air could be so dirty and that people could actually breathe it in. Keep in mind that I’ve been to many polluted cities around Asia, including Bangkok and Kathmandu. This was by far the worst I had ever experienced.

About two hours into our road trip we stopped at a tourist restaurant/truck stop. It looked like hell on earth. The land was cracked, barren and dry. There was very little greenery and nature. Suffering people were everywhere begging on the streets, either looking emaciated, high or deformed in some way. I wondered if they could still smell the chemicals in the air after living there all their lives. I wondered what the drinking water like, but there was no way I would try it. This whole land was toxic, and it made me appreciate my clean green home in Oregon more than ever. I’m not sure if most Americans can even imagine the severity, for I have never seen it so bad in my own country. Not even close.

As we pulled into the parking lot, I saw several Indian men sitting on the side of the road with several chained up monkeys that were dressed in tattered & dusty circus clothes and makeup. They looked like the worst imaginable Hollywood stereotypes of weary and enslaved hookers. But they weren’t even people. They were monkeys! I was disturbed and hoped that I would never encounter such a reality again. I even felt horrible about the cobra that the same men kept in a basket. I just wanted to set it free, even though snakes usually freak me out. I felt really bad for this trapped life form. In moments like these, I question life and the world. I hope that death is really a relief and the heaven that cultures around the world have longed for it to be.

We got to the Taj Mahal and it was a fantasy island, a monument of incredible wealth and artistry. Its glossy beaming pillars of hand carved stones were stunning, picturesque and added to the whole image of what India is to me: a place of extremes with very little in the middle. The postcard image of the Taj Mahal is exactly what I saw, but there is this whole other world just outside it’s gates and ticket line. It’s a world of poverty, starving street children, environmental disaster and ignorance that the pretty framed picture does not capture. It was memorable and I’m glad I did it, but I mostly see other images from that day when anyone asks me what it was like. The greatest castles and holy monuments will never impress me as much as social justice and a clean and peaceful world.

What made this trip even more challenging was that some of my American friends had never been outside the west before and they were having a hard time processing all of these severe examples of life. It brought out their darker characteristics that I usually don’t get to see. It was hard for me, but it was still a little bit easier than what they were going through because I had seen similar situations throughout most of my 20s all around Asia. This was all new to them. I had to be a tour guide and counselor all in one for my friends that day. God bless ‘em for coming so far just to experience my wedding.

During the long drive home, we passed through a town that my new mother-in-law told me to look out for. In Hindu mythology, it was the place where Krishna was born. My husband Sam pointed it out as we drove by and I had to laugh or else I would have cried. In Hindu culture, it is important to treat the land, air, soil and water with respect because it is alive and holy. Yet that day I saw the paradox of Mother India. Without any exaggeration, Krishna’s hometown was another dump that was taken over by an oil refinery. There was a high tower at the refinery that had a large and very evil looking flame shooting out from the top. Don’t get me wrong. I love fire and practically worship it, but the flames had a weird green tint to them that made me feel like I was looking straight into Tolkien’s Eye of Sauron. Tolkien had it nailed. The dark side doesn’t mind killing the earth to have the power, and this oil refinery was a fully embodied example of what The Lord of the Rings was talking about.

Luckily a dear friend named AJ was there for the journey. We went to high school together, and one of the reasons I appreciate him is because he uses the same darker shades of humor to process the more intense moments of life. Not everyone can appreciate this about me, but sometimes it’s the only way I can get by and it was the same for him that day. We were an hour outside of Delhi when he started to play “In The Ghetto” by Elvis on the radio. It made it all the better, and all of the sudden things weren’t so serious. The best was that I couldn’t even sing the falsetto “In the Ghetto” chorus because my voice had almost completely shut down because of the pollution. I just squeaked along to the lyrics, but I did it with all my heart and that’s what really mattered. It was my release from the horror that I had witnessed that day.

So yeah, I’ve been to the Taj Mahal, and it literally left me breathless in more ways than one. My best advice? Bring a dust mask and some tissues to wipe the tears away, as it is not for the weakest of lungs or heart.

Looking To Speak Out.

I thank you for reading these words on this page. I appreciate all your interest and support. Right now I'm making my transition into being a public speaker and I need any help that I can get. It's my goal to speak out publicly about my wonderful experiences with the Afghan people. I want to illuminate the stereotypes that have been so wrongly created here in the USA. Most Afghans are not Taliban. Most are not terrorists. Most just want to go about their business, take care of their families, and live in a peaceful world.

It's also my goal to speak of this world that holds unlimited possibilities. Yes, I talk of how I got to Afghanistan with nothing and created a job situation and a life for myself there, but that's not the only time that has happened. Most of my adult life has unfolded this way, and I want others to know that they are totally unlimited. All dreams are possible, and it's time for more humans to recognize their full power.

So, this is where you come in. If you have any place where you go, whether it be a weekly art club gathering, a church, or school, please ponder if it's a place where I can come and share my story. Also, if you or anyone you know has a blog, a podcast, TV or radio show that would have an interest in my story of Afghanistan, or any of my world travels, please let me know. Your help is deeply valued, and please know that I'm not geographically limited. I can also come to your town.

Peace,
Liz Grover
Twitter @lilbutterfly

My Message to President Obama Regarding Afghanistan

My Interview of A Cambodian Genocide Survivor

I spent three fairly intense months in Cambodia running around the country with my camera, pen and paper, interviewing survivors of the genocidal maniacs known as the Khmer Rouge. I walked among many emaciated skeletons poorly disguised as women and children, homeless, crying and begging for food while tugging at my clothing and my heart. I sat with tribes in the northern part of the country and listened to what they were doing to protect their rainforests from destruction, because their own greedy government officials were selling off the country’s natural resources and pocketing the proceeds, and the darker factions of the Vietnamese were employing deceitful schemes to rape the Cambodian rainforests in order to turn a dime with the Chinese and other countries.

I also spent time with homeless children who had been forced to grow up way too fast. Five to ten-year-old street kids had the wear and tear of 40 year olds because they had to fend for themselves, scrounging for any food they could find on the dusty Cambodian streets. In my darkest and most soul wrenching moments, I went around with an undercover detective who was busting mostly Western men, sexual predators, who came to Cambodia to extract the life force from these vulnerable children. These demented beasts spilled over the border to Cambodia after Thailand started to clamp down on child sex tourism in their own backyard. Yes, it’s true. There are sick people who travel to underdeveloped countries to have sex with children. These disgusting characters exuded a dank and rotten vibration from the inside out.

Thankfully, some light came with the darkness. My numerous interactions with inspiring Cambodian activists kept my sanity and positivity afloat. The activist who I remember the most is Hant Pipaal Anna and I had the blessed chance to interview her before leaving Cambodia. She is the head administrator of the office where I worked from in Pnom Penh. When I first met her, she seemed a little tough and almost frightening. She liked things her way in the office and sometimes got a little furious if she didn’t get it, but as time went on and I had more interactions with her, I saw her softer underbelly and we actually developed a friendship. It was a rare gift that she took the time to share the story of her own endurance and strength during the ghastly acts Khmer Rouge.

Anna was born in Cambodia’s Siem Reap province in 1947 and, at the age of four, her family moved to Phnom Penh where she studied French until the age of eighteen. In 1960, Anna began working as a secretary for a French engineer who helped to bring electrical engineering to Cambodia. From 1970 to 1975, as Cambodia’s political environment began to deteriorate, she began volunteering for the International Women’s Association. There, she coordinated food and medicine distribution and job placement for Cambodia’s internal refugees that were fleeing from the Khmer Rouge, and supported her family by working a morning job with Cambodia’s Society for Imports and Exports.

In 1975, her boss from the Society of Imports and Exports asked her to work in Thailand, but, never dreaming that Cambodia would fall to the Khmer Rouge, she chose to stay and help her country deal with the large amounts of refugees that were arriving in the capital each month.

When asked about her initial feelings toward the Khmer Rouge, Anna said that she was afraid because “they all wore black.” When Phnom Penh fell to the Khmer Rouge, she remembers that thousands of people flocked to the streets to watch them enter the city. At first, the mood was happy, but this soon changed when the Khmer Rouge told everyone that the Americans were about to bomb the city and that everyone would need to go into the countryside for three days. When Anna asked if she could take her boat up the Ton Le Sap River to escape, the soldier told her that “all things belonged to the Khmer Rouge now.” “They took my boat, and I realized it was over”, she says. Only those who were lucky enough to survive would see the city again, but not for over three years.

Anna and her family—including her husband, son, and brother—were forced to walk for one week to Kampot Chann province. When she arrived, the Khmer Rouge said that her brother had to leave in order to study the new communist regime. It turned out that this was one of the lies that the Khmer Rouge told to those who would be killed, and Anna’s brother was executed a short time afterward.

Anna was then forced to walk to Kratie province where the Khmer Rouge interviewed people to see whether or not they would be killed. Of course, no one knew this at the time and the soldiers encouraged everyone to be honest when giving their biographies because they were going to be “starting fresh.” Anna remembers that, while not many people were killed in the beginning of this period, after two months had past, people would mysteriously disappear every night.

The Khmer Rouge interviewed Anna and asked her if she could cook. She was afraid to say yes since she knew that cooking was a skill that was mostly learned in upper-class society, and that she might be killed as a result, but she was honest with the interviewer. It turned out that Anna would cook for about 400-500 people each day, for the entire time the Khmer Rouge remained in power. This time was exhausting, and she could only sleep for five to six hours per night. During this time no one heard any news of Phnom Penh or their families because, as Anna says, “In the communist regime, if you are deaf and mute, you have long life. No one talked about anything”.

Anna was allowed to keep her son with her during this three-year period, but her husband was sent to work at a distant farm. He would visit her once a month but they couldn’t talk much because there were spies everywhere – especially the Khmer Rouge children who eavesdropped from underneath the Cambodian stilted houses. Anna and her husband chose to stop seeing each other quite early in this period because they feared that talking to each other would mean they would both be killed.

Anna remembers how difficult it was to sleep every night. “If someone knocked at my door at night, then I knew that was it. So I started smoking every night – I used tobacco and paper for smoking – because it would help me stay awake.” Anna knew that, under the Khmer Rouge, death could come at any minute for no particular reason. Clearly, looking into her eyes as she tells this story shows how utterly dark this time was for her – where life and death hung in the balance every night. She remembers how she would wake up at sunrise each day and be thankful to be alive. “We saw the sun and felt that we had this new life in the morning,” she says.

As Anna’s reputation as a great cook grew, so did her order requests from Khmer Rouge leaders. In fact, some of the generals would get home from their meetings at 11 at night and send for Anna to prepare meals for them. Anna remembers that she started to lose her fear of hearing a knock at the door, because it no longer meant that she would be killed.
In 1979, the Vietnamese brought the Khmer Rouge regime to an end. Pol Pot himself requested that Anna be taken with the soldiers as they retreated to the jungles. Instead, she quickly fled to Phnom Penh in the hopes of finding her freedom and husband again.

She returned to Phnom Penh and was reunited with her husband just as the Vietnamese Army came to kill any Khmer Rouge remaining in the city. Most Khmer Rouge pretended to be ordinary citizens, and this enraged Anna. But she didn’t point these people out to the Vietnamese soldiers. “I kept it all in here,” she says, pointing at her heart. Anna was afraid that she would eventually be killed by the Vietnamese since she worked for the Khmer Rouge, so she hid in one of the many abandoned houses in the city. The Vietnamese found her after four days and three nights but, because she spoke fluent Vietnamese, she convinced them that she had nothing to do with the Khmer Rouge. Shortly after, she worked for the interim Vietnamese puppet government for six months, and began an import business from Saigon until 1990.
In 1991, she started to work with the Red Cross where her major responsibility was for the security of expatriate staff members and finished her work there in 2004.

Anna recovered from one of the most deathly and grim events that has ever occurred, and while she sees problems in Cambodia that will take years to solve, her determination, faith, and hope show her greatness. Her amazing resolve is an illustration of what is needed in order to rebuild a country after so many years of destruction and pain

KBOO Interview 11/11/09

The wonderful KBOO Community Radio of Portland, Oregon interviewed me about my time in Afghanistan. This was my first radio interview ever! Obama still has not officially said how many troops he will send to Afghanistan. I'm praying that he will change his plan and let the Afghans have a say in what happens. It's their country after all. Listen to the interview here. It's 30 minutes long.